okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy
if watermelon exists why doesn’t earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon??
“I’m sorry, what were you asking me? Oh, yes, that stupid plastic container I asked you to buy. You see, hydrofluoric acid won’t eat through plastic; it will however dissolve metal, rock, glass, ceramic. So there’s that.” - Walter White
wonderful weather we’re having
Putting a dinosaur does not make up for it Google Chrome
Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you
I just found this really weird mole on my hand should I get it checked ??
do u wanna cuddle naked yes or yes